Overall, 2017 was a very uncomfortable year for me. And I mean that in the best and worst ways possible.
For starters, my 2017 began in an apartment room in Tampa and will end in my childhood bedroom. The website that I just published now had a few visitors and even fewer subscribers. But it’s a start.
In terms of poetry, I feel that interest has waned. “Way Ward Soul Seeker” received little to no attention, despite the extensive Instagram promo. In terms of impact, I hope that “GodSpeed” exceeds my expectations.
My relationships have also been on the decline. Friends that I once saw consistently show no signs of missing me. A girl that I thought I saw potential in didn’t see the same in me. And I’m still debating whether I should just delete my Facebook. Never mind, I have birthdays to consider.
Since coming back home, I did some soul-searching. It’s been a year since I graduated and it feels like 2017 was a perpetual summer vacation. Exciting at first, but slowly descending into mediocrity.
Despite my complaints, I can’t say that this year was solely terrible. Alot of the questions that I’ve wrestled with has been answered. The fears I once had about being a full-time creative were eventually dealt with. And I’ve been inspired in many unexpected ways.
With 2018, my aim is to answer this one question: how much am I worth? Perhaps it’s a question that you should ask yourself. Social media provides the illusion of value, but followers and likes can only get you so far. I had to cut out people who only liked the pretty pictures, yet wouldn’t click a link to visit my website. I needed to unfollow people who I once talked to in real life. And I had to come to the realization that college is over. I’m worth more than a diploma.
I’m hoping for a clearer and better 2018. 2017 was just too confusing for me. But I imagine it was confusing for a lot of people. So in the meantime, try to enjoy these last moments and prepare for the next 365 days.